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Resource for Wives: Sacred Influence by Gary Thomas

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February 12, 2015 by Jen Cudmore

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I found another must-read for wives! It’s part of a set by Gary Thomas called Sacred Marriage. But when I discovered he wrote a book just for wives, I went there first. I read Sacred Influence: How God Uses Wives To Shape The Souls Of Their Husbands in about two weeks – I couldn’t put it down!

God is using your marriage to teach you how to love a radically imperfect man.

Here are some tidbits from the book:

sacred-influence1) We cannot allow our husbands to treat us with disrespect, but we need to stand up for ourselves in a proper manner. Our pain or discomfort, no matter how much they love us, will not motivate them to change if they can get away with bad behavior.

2) We must earn and keep our husbands’ respect, or they will never truly listen to us and see our hearts. They see our disapproval from a mile away, and too much judgement on our part will make them stop caring what we have to say.

3) We were called to be a helper, so we must find ways to regularly assist them rather than obsessing over all the ways they aren’t helping us or meeting our needs. ‘Tis better to give than to receive, right?

4) We must accept that men and women are different. We must try to see life through their eyes rather than demanding they see things our way. It’s not about who is right and who is wrong.

5) They want peace at home and they want us to be happy and pleasant. We can’t do that if we’re constantly choosing to be irritated with them. Constant disapproval makes them want to stay away. They will be much more loving, helpful and engaging if we enjoy their company, affirm them often instead of criticizing, and create a positive atmosphere at home.

I don’t even know where to stop! There are so many treasures of wisdom in this book that I could write multiple blog posts.

“…the type of woman who moves her man is a woman who also impresses her man.”


Bio from his site garythomas.com: Gary Thomas is a bestselling author and international speaker whose ministry brings people closer to Christ and closer to others. He unites the study of Scripture, church history, and the Christian classics to foster spiritual growth and deeper relationships within the Christian community. His unique message is designed to help you embrace the unique way that you interact with God, partner in the spiritual growth and character formation of your spouse, build a closer, grace-based family, and enjoy God with a new sense of freedom and delight.

Summary: If you’re sick of all the ways you’ve tried to bring about change in your marriage—the silent treatment, nagging, one-way discussions, or pleading—it’s time to set aside those broken methods for a Christ-based approach. This book demonstrates how women can inspire, influence, and help their husbands move in positive directions. Replacing your plan of action with God’s leads to a marital transformation where both partners are moving in sync, the way God intended. Gary Thomas draws concepts from his bestseller, Sacred Marriage, and outlines practical applications you can start using today. He also shows how marriages were transformed through these methods employed by real-life women. In these pages, you’ll also find a fresh perspective to help you understand your husband: the view of the marriage relationship through a man’s eyes. Thomas gives you insider information on how men think, feel, and can truly be motivated.

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