Over the past few weeks, we’ve been experiencing a lot of changes in our home – for the better.
The walls are coming down between Tim and I, and we’ve been able to discuss many issues that we just couldn’t seem to get past before. It’s been quite a journey, and I thought I would share few things to offer hope to others like us.
For me, the trouble began about a year and a half ago when I realized there was a disconnect between us. I didn’t like some of the attitudes and behaviors I was seeing in my husband at the time. But instead of praying for him, encouraging him, and giving him the grace to work through it, I began to think badly of him.
Over the course of several months, I worked through some issues God brought to my attention, the biggest of which was my negative attitude. Finally, in July of last year, I told my husband about my internal struggle and how God was working in my heart.
My confession sparked conflict between us, which neither of us handled well. At first we didn’t really talk about it. We began to grow further apart instead of coming together to try to resolve our unrealistic expectations and hurt feelings.
Finally I reached the place where I knew I needed some kind of outside help. I felt like my husband wasn’t listening to me, and I wanted to figure out how I could better communicate with him so we could become a strong, united couple.
Unfortunately, counseling wasn’t the cure-all I hoped it would be. While we did learn a lot, there were just too many bad habits and hurt feelings that needed to be overcome. Just when I thought we were getting past something, a new problem would pop up, or the old ones would come back because they were never properly resolved. Many times it felt like one step forward, two steps back.
This journey has been exhausting with the constant ups and downs. I despaired so many times, especially when it appeared my husband had given up.
Perseverance is never easy. But hope makes it possible.
Because with God, all things are possible. He is our hope, and we are blessed when we trust in Him. (Psalm 146:5)
God gives us the strength we need to keep going when we constantly fill our minds with the truths in Scripture and remember His promises.
Here is one of my prayers:
Thank You, God, that You don’t despise or disdain those who suffer, but You listen to cries of help (Psalm 22:24). I call out to You in the midst of adversity & ask for deliverance. Like Paul, may I learn to be content (Phil 4:11-12). I cast off all doubts to make room for the growth needed to receive the promise. Your grace is sufficient for me (2 Cor 12:18) & I choose to remain under the pressure.
I lift up my eyes, believing that my help comes from You (Psalm 121: 1-2). Thank You that You deliver the righteous from trouble (Psalm 34:19). Surely it’s for my benefit that I suffer such anguish (Isaiah 38:17). I am confident that I will see the goodness of the Lord in this trial. I choose to be strong & take heart while I wait (Psalm 27:13-14).
©Jen Cudmore 2015, All Rights Reserved #staymarried
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