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Saving My Marriage: The First Step God Told Me To Take – Prayer


May 4, 2015 by Jen Cudmore

When I first realized how unhappy I was in my marriage, I blamed my husband.

He was not the man I wanted him to be, and I grew bitter in my disappointment. Once I admitted that I had an attitude problem toward him, I knew I had to deal with it. God clearly wasn’t pleased with my bitterness and finger-pointing.

I had a few conversations with God about my attitude, because honestly, I was clueless how to get back the love and respect I’d once had for Tim. My resentment got in the way of restoration.

I wanted God to change him, not me.

Yet God made it clear that I had dropped the ball in one major area.

He gently reminded me that I’d stopped praying for my husband every day.

In reality, the scolding was pretty minor, but I was quite mad at myself. I didn’t like to admit that I had messed up. How could I become complacent in such an important task?

I used to be consistent about lifting up my husband to God every day. When he worked 2-3 jobs, I was very concerned, and I know it was only by the grace of God that we made it through those years with very little negative repercussions. So many people thought our family would fall apart, but it was during those years when we were at our best.

Then my husband changed jobs, and he was home every evening. I can see now that my laziness was influence by the belief that he didn’t need my prayer support anymore.

Please note, I’m not saying my marriage began to fail simply because I stopped praying. Sometimes even with excessive time on our knees, spouses will still walk away because they have free will. I am saying that for my family, lack of consistent prayer was a major contributor to our downfall.

At first, it was difficult to pray for Tim again. We don’t typically like asking God to bless people we’re mad at. But I did it anyway, because I knew eventually my heart would soften, and God would bless my obedience.

Over the course of several months, God helped me get back to consistent, daily prayer, the kind based on the promptings of the Holy Spirit and not my selfish desires.

  • He taught me that a few sentences flung into the air once a day was not good enough; I needed to get on my face before God for several minutes.
  • He taught me how to pray the truth of Scripture over my husband and my marriage because there is great power in God’s Word.
  • He taught me how to be specific in my petitions, because when the answers came there was no doubt that God made it happen.

As an avid reader, I searched for resources to get me back to a firm foundation in my marriage. One resource that was extremely helpful was Praying for Your Husband From Head To Toe by Sharon Jaynes, which I reviewed on my site a year ago.

But prayer wasn’t so much a way to fix my husband and my marriage as it was a tool for strengthening my faith.

Over the past year, I’ve gotten to know God on a much deeper level, and I’m very grateful for the lessons I’ve learned.

Let us never forget – there is power in prayer.


©Jen Cudmore 2015, All Rights Reserved  

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1 comment »

  1. Anita says:

    This is a reminder to me – to still remember to pray for my ex husband, Jen. Thank you. He is and always will be the father of my children. He needs my prayers now as much as he did then.

    We have good contact and a easy going, respectful relationship. We stay in touch – as I live half a world away from him and from my children. He sends me photos from my darling grandchildren and tops me up with any newsy bits he feels I ought to know about our children.

    I remain grateful and thankful for him in my life- and now that you have reminded me about the prayers I will pick that up again. He deserves them.

    Thanks Jen, Anita xx

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