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Does Failure In Marriage Mean I Am a Failure As A Person?


May 7, 2015 by Jen Cudmore

When our marriage is hanging over the edge of a cliff, we often feel like a complete and utter failure as a human being.

But God doesn’t see us that way.

Over the past year God has been teaching me who I really am. And what I am not.

I am not a terrible person because I didn’t do everything right in my marriage.

I am not a terrible woman because a few people have looked down their nose at me in judgement for my mistakes.

I’m not a terrible employee because my work has suffered due to my lack of focus and temporary memory loss.

I am not a terrible mom because I’ve been too overwhelmed with my troubles to properly meet all my children’s needs.

I am not a terrible wife because my husband doesn’t seem to appreciate me, doesn’t have anything nice to say about me, and some days, would rather be anywhere but by my side.

Because Jesus washed away our sins when He died on the cross, I am a new creature I am no longer bound by the shame of my mistakes or the judgement from others. I am a free person, passionately loved by God, yet still a work-in-progress. And that means I am not a failure.

I am not the sum of what other people think of me.
I am exactly who God created me to be: His child.


Let me tell you a little bit about my friend Lara, who created the community called Moms of Faith.

She recently went through a divorce and has now become a single mother. Her faith in herself as a mom and a woman was greatly shaken by the ordeal – a state many of us can relate to.

Right now she is posting a series on her site called “You Are Significant“, and I encourage you to check out her posts!

We are Salt and Light

We are a Branch from the Vine

We are Seated With Christ

We are God’s Temple

You can also see her new blog called Real Single Mom. Her first post is Where Do I Begin?

You are not a failure! I’ll talk more about who God says we are in a later post.



©Jen Cudmore 2015, All Rights Reserved   #staymarried

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  1. Anita says:

    Oh Jen, once more I can so relate to your blog and it’s contents. Then I mean the bit about feeling a failure that is. It took me a LONG time before that became a thing of the past.

    My marriage may have failed – not made the distance – I did not fail. I know I used every ounce of will power, knowledge and creative thought trying to save my relationship. The knowledge I have now is not that which I had then.

    To all those struggling, being challenged in your marriage today – be blessed, be wise, be patient, be assured you are lovable and are loved.

  2. Jen Cudmore says:

    Exactly! Thanks for your input, Anita.

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